22 May 2011

A burning rose

It happened suddenly. She came into my life like the warmth of a hundred suns. As she sat beside me I became aware of a connection between us. Inexplicably, without conversation, she was in my arms. We were with other people. It did not matter. We lay in each-others arms as they fell asleep around us.

She asked me "What are you thinking?" I could not tell her. I was not 'thinking'. Her body's curves were pressed flat against my front, our feet entangled. "How warm you are" I murmured back, too sleepy to lie. We spoke softly to each other. I kissed her lips.

We slept when we saw the morning's first light.

It was afternoon when we woke. I had forgotten that I was not completely sober the night before. It was like a surprise all over again to find her in my arms. It was cold and bright and hard to think. Her hand was still warm in mine as we sat at the breakfast table.

It was awkward at first to see her again. We walked together for a while. It was not difficult to kiss her again. Her hands gripped my shirt as I cupped her chin in my hand.

Doubt. A shadow that grew like smoke over a blaze. It was too good to be true. Was it not? I was not what she wanted. I could not offer her my broken heart. Fear. A darkness that choked me. I could not breath much less speak when she called me. I distinctly remember casually deflecting her suggestions to meet again. I distinctly remember the tear that rolled off my chin as is I put the phone on the table. I felt that our happiness would be hollow.

Perhaps I was wrong?